gregbrownbooks Coaching, leadership, leading, training

Great leaders… let their people go

open hand

We have talked already about giving freedom to your people to make decisions and make mistakes. Let’s talk now about giving them the freedom to leave.

Your exit door needs to be wide open with no hidden relationship traps.

If you hold on too tightly to your people you run the risk of breaking relationship when they leave.

Broken relationship doesn’t need to result from someone leaving. Just open up your hands and let go. It’s liberating and it nurtures an environment of freedom. It’s empowering when people feel very free to choose if they stay or go. 

As the leader you just have no place in deciding what people will do with their lives. This is controlling behavior and hinders the relational aspect of your organization. If people feel there are negative consequences for leaving they will be afraid to process it with you. What may have started as difficult questions can turn into broken relationship and people moving on when maybe they didn’t really want to leave in the first place.

Over the years we have had people come to us with an issue they had with their boss or leader. Our advice was always to talk with their boss or leader about it. So many times though people felt fearful because of consequences that they perceived may come. So instead of working through issues they ended up leaving instead. This could have ended so differently so many times if they had felt safe to talk about difficult things with someone in charge. The same thing happens when people feel the urge to leave or they feel called to something else. They may not be sure how to start the conversation because of perceived consequences or what they have witnessed with people who have left previously. It is your job as a leader to promote a safe environment for these conversations to happen. You have to be proactive about it and ask the questions yourself. It is more likely that they will open up if you initiate it and remind them that it is a safe place to talk. Although, It’s probably not just your words that will convince them that they are safe. It’s how you treated them and others in the past that will really convince them.

Don’t ever talk bad about people who have left your organization. You cause fear to rise up in your people when you do this. And you create a negative story about leaving altogether. It is not a good goal to have people stay out of fear. This is a very unhealthy dynamic for your team.

Your people will feel it when you are holding on too tightly. You will start to lead from a place of fear and it will effect every part of your organization. In your effort to hold onto someone you actually make it more likely for them to leave.

Some people feel that contracts are important. That when people start with you they need to sign something that gives a time commitment. When you do this you are just starting a ticking time bomb. You are communicating at the very beginning that they are going to leave at some point. Sometimes it works out but I really believe there is a better way.

Instead inspire them to join something great and then deliver on that “something great”. What if the reason they stay is that they love working there? What if they felt empowered and able to make a difference? What if they know they are heard and cared about? What if they are actually working for something that excites them so much that they give their lives to it? These are much better reasons for people to stay.

I’ve seen leaders desperately trying to get someone to stay. The results are poor. If the person does end up staying, because of manipulation or fear, they will only perform poorly and actually cause harm to the organization. When someone’s heart is no longer invested it is much better that they move on. Better for everyone.

Let them see first hand that you are more interested in the person’s well being than what they can do for the organization. This is a big morale booster. They will be amazed that you care about the person who moved on. That you celebrate them. People will feel safe when you act this way. They will feel cared for.

When someone wants to move on don’t fight for them to stay. Don’t offer incentives. Don’t beg.

Just take your hands off and let it happen.

Sometimes when they feel they truly have the freedom to leave they may actually end up staying and invested at a higher level.

“If you’re going to be a great leader you are going to have to get used to sowing your life into people just to see them walk away.”

Best to embrace that reality now. It’s a really healthy sign of great leadership when people feel safe enough to leave and still want to be in relationship with you. I always feel like I’ve done something right when this happens. 

We have people all over the world who we have sown into just to see them walk into the next part of their journey outside of our organization. It can actually be a wonderful experience. We have friends everywhere now. And you just never know when these relationships will be activated again. They may even come back to you after learning and growing, if the relationship remains in tact, and then you are so much further ahead than when they left.

Don’t take my word for it. Go out there and open up your hands!

gregbrownbooks leadership, leading, training

Great leaders… say NO

To become a great leader you will have to learn to say no. You will have to say no to a myriad of things in order to do the things that only you can do. Saying no is an art form, it takes practice and finesse. You can’t say no to everyone all the time but you have to learn to say it in cases where you will be pulled away from the more important things.

To say no to something you have to know what the more important things are. What are your core competencies and values? Do you know what the things are that only you can do? Can you quickly determine if something violates your core values? If these two things are fuzzy you will have a hard time saying no to something because literally anything could masquerade as a priority task. So first work on your list of core values and then work on the list of things that only you can do. These two lists should be fairly short, three to five items for each.  Make it as clear as you can, then get ready to say NO.

If something violates your core values, say no. If it’s not in your list of “things that only you can do”, say no. When you say no like this it allows you to focus your limited time and energy on the jobs of highest importance and priority. To succeed you need to be able to finish these top list jobs on time and finish them well. This process destroys distraction and promotes productivity.

Saying no to a task also gives others the chance to rise to the occasion. You have to become a delegation pro or your team’s growth will be stunted. Saying no means giving away tasks that you wouldn’t normally trust others with. That can be scary at first but the reward will be great. You will have to take some risks in order to grow your team. Take your hands off things and watch people grow and thrive as they take on challenges, this is especially true in an environment where people are allowed to make mistakes(see my blog post on this). And don’t just delegate tasks, delegate authority. Give your people the permission to make the decisions not just complete the task. The more authority people are given to make decisions the more buy-in you get. Once you have a high level of buy-in you will see your people coming to work early and staying late, performing at high levels without complaining.

Finally, your people have to be able to say no to you(unless you are a cult leader). Remember you are creating a culture where people are encouraged to do the things that they are good at, the tasks that only they can do. This is a culture where people perform at high levels of productivity and to achieve this your people have to be allowed to say no, even to you. This might take a bit of back and forth conversation to find a good balance and it will definitely take a bit of getting used to for both parties but it is vital for your team’s growth.

Don’t take my word for it, go out there and say NO to someone!

 

Extra – Check out this book for help on saying NO – Essentialism, Greg McKeown

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Great leaders… don’t give up on their people

Great Leaders… believe the best. They choose their people carefully and stick with them when the going gets tough. they understand that their people are their greatest asset.

Jesus chose his people and he never re-chose. Even when they planned to kill him!

There were so many times where he could have said, “You know better, I’m finished with you!”. The reality is people don’t know what they don’t know. That’s why we need to lead people. If they “knew better” we wouldn’t have to make disciples. We wouldn’t need each other. But we are all learning and we need each other to grow.

There may be a time where someone needs to leave the team but it should not come as a surprise to them. This should only be after working together on the issues, after giving them clear input and correction. People need to have multiple chances to try again and be allowed to fail. What I’m describing is a high growth environment.

I think Jesus was a great leader. He chose 12 people and started the largest movement on the earth. He showed us about not giving up on people in his interaction with one of them in particular, Peter. Peter consistently said or did the wrong thing. And he took it to a whole new level when he denied even knowing Jesus in a time where the church was supposed to really get some traction. Jesus had trained these guys well(and let’s face it he is the ultimate trainer) and they failed to launch. They bombed when they were supposed to shine. So after Jesus rose back to life(pretty impressive) instead of deciding to just do it himself or starting over with better candidates he actually tracked Peter down and gave him yet another chance. This time we see the Gold and Peter rises to the occasion and becomes a pillar of the early church. Imagine if Jesus had just cut him off after his massive failure. In the middle of failure or poor performance your people need you to come alongside them and show them that you still believe in them. Affirm the truth about them and call them up to a new level.

There is no such thing as “bad people”, only poor leadership. There is gold in everyone. You need to dig a little deeper sometimes to find it, but it’s there. It’s always there. I am yet to work with someone who has no gold. If someone is not working out in your organization it may be as simple as a wrong role or wrong department. Your job as the leader is to help them find their lane, not just show them the exit ramp.

My first job was working at McDonalds. In Australia this is a classy establishment, dubbed as a family restaurant. They tried me on the “easy” stations; fries, burgers, register and I was terrible at all of them. Instead of just saying it’s not going to work out they kept looking for my lane. I ended up trying the production manager job, which was apparently more difficult, more training was required and it carried higher responsibility. Surprisingly, this was where I thrived. I became the best production manager at the store. Many of the kids my age in this position would make sure there were enough burgers so they could eat their fill of free food at closing. This shocked me to the core. I just could not believe someone would do something so dishonest. That’s why I was so good at it. When I was given the chance, I made sure that there was enough fresh food but not too much so we didn’t have to throw it away. Management were amazed at how consistent I was. I found my lane and I loved it. I also washed dishes at closing. I did not love that 🙂

So work hard to help your people find what they are good at and they will thrive and even want to do the jobs that noone else wants to.

Is there someone who is just very difficult to work with? Do they constantly push back or are they underperforming? Start by asking them about there personal life. How are they really doing? Behavior at work can be really affected by personal situations and when a leader can lean in and show some empathy it can bring a huge shift. Start by finding the right location, not your office with your massive desk separating you. By design they will be less likely to share or they will tell you what they think you want to hear. Instead, meet in a neutral location and ask, “how are you doing?”. This may be awkward at first but it is a vital tool of great leaders. You might need to ask them a few questions before they share with you.

Try these questions:

What is your biggest challenge right now?

If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?

If they are a brick wall you could share something that you are dealing with yourself. Being transparent is so inspiring and will help them to open up. I believe this kind of leadership is a lost art and we need to work to become good listeners again. When they do finally feel safe enough to open up, just listen. And when they finish sharing thank them for sharing. Then offer them something. You may want to offer some advice, but only if it is really helpful. John Maxwell says, “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” And once they know you care they do want to listen to what you have to say. You could even give them some extra time off to take care of a personal issue. You will be amazed at the response. Just taking a little bit of time to really listen and show that you care will shift their behavior and boost their performance.

Don’t take my word for it, go out there and try it for yourself.

EXTRA: Sometimes the problem is not the other person, sometimes the problem lies with how you are perceiving them. If you are having a problem with someone, check your heart first. It may be as simple as changing you!

gregbrownbooks leadership, Uncategorized

GREAT LEADERS…

Welcome to a new series called “GREAT LEADERS . . .”

I love seeing people step into new levels of leadership. My hope is that as you follow along you will be inspired to become a more effective and influential leader.

noun lead·er \ˈlē-dər\  – A person that leads –

Simple enough for you?

Quote of the day:

       “If you think you are a leader and you look behind you and noone is following, think again” – Loren Cunningham – co-founder, Youth With a Mission.

1 – GREAT LEADERS… must be visible

In order for people to follow you, they have to see you.

Imagine that you are leading an expedition over a mountain to a magnificent alpine lake. You are the most experienced, you’ve been there before and you can’t wait for the others to see what you have seen.

Before you set off, you cast the vision, telling of the wonders of the other side of the mountain. And you’re off. Your team starts at a quick pace, excited to get to their goal. As the summit comes into view, the going gets tough and you notice your team has slowed. But not you! You have what it takes!! So you power on, thinking you will inspire them. You pass the summit in record time and finally get a glimpse of the goal ahead.

As the lake comes into view your heart jumps and you spin around to tell the team what you see… and there’s no-one there!

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You went too far ahead and they couldn’t see you, so they couldn’t follow you.

Leadership tip – Go far enough out in front so you are actually taking people somewhere, inspiring them to be a part of something great, but not so far ahead that you lose them.

You can’t lead well if you are distant from your team. You can’t lead by remote control.

Your job as the leader is to cast vision, inspire your people, be an example, show the way forward, connect with and empower your team. you cannot do these things via email alone.

People have to see you. They need to know you care. And they need you to see them working. Don’t be the boss who catches your people doing something wrong. Be the boss who catches your people working hard and tell them that you see them. It can be disheartening when your boss doesn’t see you working hard because your boss is just not around. Many leaders give affirmation when their people have completed a task. This is good leadership but I also like to affirm my people when they are in the middle of it, when they are doing the work. To tell them you see them working and are happy about it is a big boost in their day. This simple act of highlighting someone’s work ethic, not just their product, can really improve the outcome. And they will want to do it again and again.

And remember affirm publicly, correct privately. make it a habit to affirm your people in front of others. It means more. There is more weight behind it. And be consistent across your team. Everyone gets affirmed. If you have to search for the gold, then search, and when you find it call it out for all to hear. When a leader is speaking it is like they are holding a megaphone. Affirmation sounds louder when it comes from your boss.

Criticism sounds even louder! It booms in the ears of your people. So make sure no-one else is listening when you need to bring some correction. The moment you correct someone in front of their peers is the moment you start to lose them. This is a form of humiliation and it is very hard to recover from. It also puts fear in the hearts of the others listening, that this might happen to them. Some of you might say that’s a good thing, but in my experience fear is the worst motivation, yielding poor results. So hold your tongue until you have a setting where it is appropriate to bring correction. After bringing critique, point them forward to the goal ahead. You have to keep them in the game. Make it loud and clear that you still believe in them and you are excited about what is to come. Correction is not the end, it is an opportunity for growth. There may be a need to bring the outcome of your conversation to the team together, so they know you’ve worked it out, but not often. You need to use finesse in these moments. Your goal is to build your people up and build unity.

if you are connected to the heartbeat of your team you can create a culture where people are excited to receive input and are allowed to give input. You must have boots on the ground to do this.

Don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself!

 

EXTRA – I recommend that critique and affirmation be two separate conversations. Craig Groeschel says, “Don’t muddy your affirmation with critique”. Consistently build the bridge of affirmation so it’s strong enough to have correction cross over it.